Trouble In Paradise
By: Randall Barnes
Like I told Marsha, I went through my li’l’ situation and I bounced back. I even broke up with my first love Larry. I thought we’d get married one day. Boy was I off! It was wishful thinking at least.
He wasn’t ready for a girl like me. I’ve grown and he’s seemed to have gotten worse. I didn’t even see this until I transferred to Howard-Jones from Booker T at the beginning of this school year. He flexes too much for me. That’s why I decided to move on. You can say I upgraded. I talk to a senior now!
His name is Ronald Gaines and he’s so fine! One thing I love about him is that he’s different. He’s like the only teenage boy I see that’s focused and has his priorities in order. He knows what he wants and goes after it. He’s such a talented writer! It’s obvious that he has skills, since he’s signed to a publishing house. I read his 1st book on Amazon and it was great! How many guys are successful like him? Definitely not my ex, I’m telling you…
He’s so sweet and caring. Even when he hugs me I just go to a different place. And the best thing is that he doesn’t force himself on me. I want him to hold me. It’s almost like we’re perfect together. It helps that’s he cute too!
He’s seems to be mad at me for some reason though. And the reason is, of course, me trying to help out the girls around me. He told me about his feelings last week, saying,
“Time is money Carolyn and you’re wasting it on those girls you try to help out. They don’t want help. All they want you to do is comfort them.”
He got no argument from me but, like I said, I’m weak to folks crying. I didn’t get a chance to meet him before 6th period, which is one of the few times we get to see each other. Then, I was supposed to see him during lunch but another one of my “associates” were having suicidal thoughts too so I had to help them out.
I saw him at the end of the day yesterday. He was outside talking to a few of his homeboys. He looked my direction and quickly turned his head. I could tell he was mad at me but I still went up to him.
I walked up to him and said, “Hi.”
He turned to his boys and gave them some dap. “Excuse me guys.”
We walked over a few feet away from the boys and posted up by the school entrance.
He put his hands in his jacket pockets and said, “What’s up?”
I smiled. “I wanted to see you. We haven’t been around each other in a while and I miss you.”
He laughed. I slick got offended!
“What’s so funny?”
“You are! I’ve been trying to see you and you’ve been invisible. Well, I have seen you but your ‘dependents’ are always with you. I see you’re still trying to impart knowledge on deaf ears.”
I sighed and put my hands on my hips. “Can we not start this today? I heard you last week and I feel where you’re coming from but those girls were talking about killing themselves. No matter what you say, that warrants me checking to make sure they’re alright.”
“You know, I find it crazy that you want to help everybody that doesn’t even want your guidance but you got the ideal ‘good guy’ that you clamed you wanted and you don’t even show him any attention. But you used to find your ex and made sure he stayed out of trouble every day.”
I was speechless.
He shook his head. “Heavy isn’t it? You’re not here for me but you have the time to save females that aren’t even worth your time. Don’t you think I need you by me? Don’t you think I need someone to talk to? I guess you didn’t think about that, since I’m not in a gang or thinking about killing myself.”
“You don’t understand Ron---”
He sighed. “Don’t play that game with me Caryolyn. Before you try to save the world, you need to get your own house in order. I guess I fall last on your priority list and that’s how it’ll forever be.
All of a sudden, a crew of four girls walked out the doors. One of them smiled and said, “Hey Ronald! I just started reading your new book. We’re going to have to discuss it later.”
He nodded and replied. “No doubt about that.”
I instantly got blowed!
“Hold up! Who is that?”
“If you found the time to find me, you’d probably know. That’s Kianna Groves, the captain of the cheerleading team down here at Howard-Jones. This girl gets almost 400 likes for anything she posts on Facebook and Instagram. I’m worried about my money and you’re getting jealous.”
He then patted me on the shoulder, “I like you Carolyn. I really do. You’re a beautiful young lady that deserves the best. I think I can give it to you. But, the last thing I’m going to do is compete with the sexually confused females that you hang around. It’s time for you to choose. It’s either me or them. I hope you make the right choice.”
He walked back over to his boys as I held back tears. How could he be so cold hearted to look down at me trying to help these girls get their acts together? Then again, was I tripping? My best friend Roslyn definitely thought I was…
